piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
