i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
