she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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