wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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