he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
