I cockslap morals
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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