Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
