Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
