how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize