so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
