So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
