I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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