if you like me you must not know who I am
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
