She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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