I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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