He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What a dumb baby whore.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
