we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
