A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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