the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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