This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
