Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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