when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
