Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
