Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
