ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's shark week go big or go home
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
