epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
