I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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