Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
