Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
