put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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