i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
