I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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