He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
