she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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