I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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