Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
