A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
PANTIES FOUND
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
