the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
