Define "chronic" masturbator.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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