Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
