I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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