Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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