Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
