her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
