i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
