the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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