I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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