Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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