Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
