Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
