now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
